Don’t get stuck in the past…

Douglas Silas,
Specialist SEN Solicitor
17th January 2022

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In this week's SEN Update (apart from my: 'Thought Of The Week'), you will find sections entitled:
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• SEN NEWS
• NEWS ONLINE
• ​USEFUL INFORMATION​​​

​I know how busy everyone always is, so please feel free just to read the sections that are of interest to you or read everything; the choice is always yours.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK
We so often get so stuck and waste so much of our time worrying about the past, that we sometimes forget to make the most of the present, or to look to the future.

In reality, we want to look back fondly on life and remember good things, not bad things. However, not all things that we remember that we have done are good things. We may regret them. Yet, as I have said before, it is actually mistakes that we make, or things that we regret, that we actually learn from, or that we have to go through to become who we are, even if we would have preferred to do so otherwise.

Ironically, these experiences are usually quite positive for us in the long run, as we can often then take away something naturally from them and, provided that we have learned from them, if getting something wrong, we may then be able to use them as learning experiences later on in our lives in other similar situations, even within a different context.

I heard someone say once that, on the basis that we have a lifespan of about 80 years, we only have about 4000 weeks of life. So therefore, using logic, if we are already 20 years old, we only have 3000 weeks left, if are already 30 years old, we only have 2500 weeks left and, if we are already 40 years old, we then only have 2000 weeks left to go and and that number is forever dwindling. 

Chilling isn’t it, when you put it like that? 

I also heard it said by someone else that we generate all our cells afresh every 7 years, so  therefore we are then theoretically a new person every 7 years. Therefore, we should remind ourselves that, practically again using logic, what we did 10 years ago was done by one earlier version ago of ourselves, but something that we did about 20 years ago was actually done by someone almost three earlier versions ago of us!

Additionally, do not mix up positive and negative thinking about things that might have happened to you in the past as, if you do this, you may only confuse yourself, as the bad will always seem to outweigh the good, even though that it may not actually be that way in reality. This principle so often applies to so many things we encounter, where one small bad thing always outweighs the many good things that there are.  

Think of it like putting only a single small drop of coloured dye into a large bucket of clear water.  Although there is far more clear water, the dye always spreads completely and tinges everything. Another example is how, out of 100 people, 99 people think of us in a positive way, but if one person thinks of us in a negative way, we focus on that and then ignore the 99 people who think positively of us. It just doesn’t make sense!

You cannot help thoughts springing into your head, but you can choose whether or not they stay there and whether you listen to them or not. I also heard someone say once that you should gently let negative thoughts come into but then also go out of your mind, in the same way as somebody goes through a revolving door at the front of a hotel - they just come in, go around and then go out again.

So, this week, try not to get stuck in the past or, if you do, try to think of any mistakes that you have made as positively as possible and as just learning experiences that help you in the future. Also, this week, try to think about the importance of using your remaining time of what is left in life as well and positively as possible.

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SEN NEWS
Not much to report on in SEN News this week.

Although one thing caught my eye - a Government consultation entitled: 'Keeping children safe in education: proposed revisions 2022'.

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NEWS ONLINE
In terms of news, here are the articles that I found of interest this week:

Schools struggle amid Covid as one in 12 teachers off
Nurseries in England hit by staff absences after soaring Covid cases
Covid in nurseries: Staff shortages 'mentally exhausting'

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USEFUL INFORMATION
Again, aside from clicking on the relevant links for more information, I would also remind you of the very useful resources and information provided on the following websites:
 
- IPSEA
- Council for Disabled Children
- Special Needs Jungle

I would also highlight again the magazines: SEN Magazine and Autism Eye which are both very helpful to any parents or professionals involved with children/young people with SEN.
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With best wishes
 
Douglas

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