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Accept people for who they are…

12/20/2021

 
Douglas Silas,
Specialist SEN Solicitor
20th December 2021

Cartoon

This is my last SEN Update for this (chronological) year - I will write again in a few weeks.
In this week's SEN Update, you will find sections entitled:
​​
  • THOUGHT OF THE WEEK
  • NEWS ONLINE
  • SEN NEWS​
​I know how busy everyone always is, so please feel free just to read the sections that are of interest to you or read everything; the choice is always yours.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK
​You have to always just accept people for who they are.

We must remember that people always seem to remember people as they were, not as they are. This is particularly noticeable with parents who still treat their grown up children as small children, even when these children are now in their 30s, 40s or 50s! This idea is very important at this time of year, as we may be coming into contact  again with people who we have not seen for a while.

This is also why, at school reunions, much older and wiser people often still go back to how they were at school previously with the same dynamics happening, even though it is many years later, and a lot has happened to change them since. This is because they have not seen each other since then and realised that they have changed.

It is very hard for us to sometimes accept people for who they may be now, especially in family dynamics. This is commonly noticed when you hear people use phrases like: “They were always like that” or “They never did that”. Remember, people like to say that you can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family. 

Let me develop this idea further here. 

Parents (generation 1) of older children (generation 2), now adults, who may even now have grown up children of their own (generation 3), often still view them as they were before they left home. This first generation somehow becomes stuck in a time warp and treat the second generation as they were previously, as they have not seen them grow up since (even if seeing them regularly in the interim). 

It is also a little bit more than this though. Unfortunately, some people are also negative and will always remain negative, no matter what you do and how positive you are with them. It is as if they want to remain negative, perhaps because they feel safe and secure like this.  

Ironically, no matter how hard you try to change them, you usually are just wasting your time and energy as, rather than you making them more positive, they will usually end up dragging you down, rather than you dragging them up! Some people will fill you with energy when you are with them by being positive, but negative people will just sap you of energy when you are with them. 

You therefore need to recognise this and have to sometimes cut negative people out of your life as much as possible, as hard as it can be, although, with family in particular, you have to remember that it is always better to have a cool peace rather than a hot war. 

And, whilst I think that you should accept people as they are, somewhat counterintuitively (almost contradictorily), I think that you should still try to be positive with negative people, or at least recognise these kinds of people, so you can try to avoid them. You also need to remember that people also have to accept you for who you are too sometimes, as you may not always be at your best.  

Finally, it also works with the other way round, as you have to remember that other people may now be very different to how you remember them from a younger time in your and their lives. They have probably also been through many experiences since then, so you need to accept them as they are and not not try to change them into who you want them to be.

So, as we now break for the winter holidays for the next couple of weeks, try to hold in your head some of what I have said, if you can - it is so simple when you think about it, if you accept people above for who they are, they will probably accept you for who you are!

 News Online
NEWS ONLINE
In terms of news, here are the articles that I found of interest this week:

Omicron: Schools prepared if Covid forces online move next term
Omicron leads many UK schools to close early for Christmas
Persistent Covid-related absence leaves pupils lagging – Ofsted

SEN News
SEN News
SEN NEWS
Again, aside from clicking on the relevant links for more information, I would also remind you of the very useful resources and information provided on the following websites:

 
- IPSEA
- Council for Disabled Children

- Special Needs Jungle

I would also highlight again the magazines: SEN Magazine and Autism Eye which are both very helpful to any parents or professionals involved with children/young people with SEN.
​​

Keep safe until the new year!

With best wishes
 
Douglas
Douglas Silas
​P.S. Don’t forget, to ensure that you never miss one, you can get my SEN Updates personally by completing your email details above, ​or by following me on one of the social media platforms I use (i.e. Twitter/Facebook).

P.P.S. You can also share this SEN Update with others (please only do so if it may be relevant to them) by using one of the icons, usually to the right or at the bottom of this page.​​​​​​​​
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Think about ‘thinking’…

12/13/2021

 
Douglas Silas,
Specialist SEN Solicitor
​13th December 2021

Cartoon

This week I want to talk to you about the important concept of ‘thinking’.

I often say that it is not only about what you do, but it is also about how you think, before you do. Unfortunately, many people overlook the importance of thinking before doing, or fail to realise how our thoughts so easily influence what we do. Additionally, you need to think carefully, independently and positively, as that ultimately guides your actions. To put it more simply, you do what you think.

We often take thinking for granted and feel that our thoughts are our own. But the truth is not always what we first think. We also have to remember that people are suggestible, not only to their own thoughts, but also to thoughts of others. For example, one of the easiest ways of me explaining this, is to simply tell you to think of a penguin! In most cases, you now cannot help but think of a penguin!

But this concept also works the other way around, as if you try now to not think of a penguin, if I then say that you should not think of a penguin, you probably will also think of a penguin! Some of you may have also noticed that I have additionally deliberately repeated the word ‘penguin’ already four times, so you have therefore now almost definitely thought of a penguin (that’s five times now!) 

And just to give my idea one final push, here’s a picture of a penguin as well!
Picture
I know this is amusing, but it’s actually quite serious. We’re exposed everyday to things in the media, the news, or on social media - especially in advertising - where others try to get us thinking in a way that benefits them and not us. You can avoid this if you can, but you can’t avoid it entirely. The only way to stop it influencing you is to lessen exposure and think as independently as possible. 

I am also a great believer in learning from as many things and people as possible. You can learn from everything, as long as you are open to it. For example, if you expose yourself to all sorts of things, be it history, art, science, technology, religion etc., you will think more and by thinking more you learn more. You may also start to see connections between things that you may not have noticed before.

It is very important though that we also listen to other people who think differently to us, not just people who think the same as us.  This is very dangerous and can lead to what people call ‘echo chambers’, where you only listen to others who think the same as you (like an echo) so you then get stuck thinking the same way and having your (often mistaken) thoughts affirmed, so you think they are correct.

But we also need other people to help us think. Thinking out loud is easier than thinking within, as having to explain things to others helps us clarify our thoughts to ourselves. It also helps us test our thoughts if we have to justify them to others, as they may sound different to us when coming out of our mouths, rather than just running around in our brains, where thoughts can be more easily manipulated.

You need to realise that not everyone thinks like you, or is wired in the same way. Just because someone thinks the opposite, does not mean that what they think is wrong and what you think is right. We seem to have developed into only having or accepting extreme ways of thinking, with things being either very good, or very bad (and we always feel that what we do is good, but what others do is bad!)

Unfortunately, we also often overthink something, when we have more time than we need to think about it.  But you should not overthink something and then complicate it unnecessarily. You should also not use overthinking unconsciously as an excuse not to take action. Remember, although I have said that you should think before doing, you need to both ‘think’ and ‘do’.

So, this week, try to think about ‘thinking’ and what I have said above - it may lead you to think about and do things differently!

In this week's SEN Update, you will find sections entitled:
​​
  • SEN NEWS
  • NEWS ONLINE
  • ​USEFUL INFORMATION​​
​​​I know how busy everyone is, ​so feel free just to read the sections of interest,
​or read everything; the choice is always yours.

SEN News
SEN News
SEN NEWS
​I received another email a few days ago from the SEND Division at the Department for Education (DfE), which stated:

"Dear colleagues,

 
Following the Prime Minister’s announcement yesterday on the implementation of Plan B of the COVID-19 Response: Autumn and Winter Plan we updated the Special schools and other specialist settings: coronavirus (COVID-19 guidance).  The government is clear on the critical importance of not disrupting the education of children and young people and the government will prioritise keeping all education and childcare settings open. The measures will support this.
 
The main updates are:
 
·       updated advice on supporting vulnerable children and young people who are self-isolating
·       updated advice on tracing close contacts and isolation to reflect the forthcoming change to isolation rules
·       updated asymptomatic testing section reflecting that you should encourage visitors to test before coming to your setting
·       updated to reflect the latest language on children who were previously considered to be clinically extremely vulnerable
·       additional section on mandatory vaccine certification 
·       updated workforce section to reflect the latest language on adults who were previously considered to be clinically extremely vulnerable and to reflect the Government recommendation to work from home if you can
 
We will keep the guidance under review as the situation develops.
 
Many thanks
 
 
Special Educational Needs and Disability Division"
​

 News Online
EWS ONLINE
In terms of news, here are the articles that I found of interest this week:

Covid: figures reveal vaccine lottery for children in England
Too many children left at risk too long - Ofsted
Vaccinate five- to 11-year-olds to protect UK schools, scientists say

​Again, aside from clicking on the relevant links for more information, I would also remind you of the very useful resources and information provided on the following websites:
 
- IPSEA
- Council for Disabled Children

- Special Needs Jungle

I would also highlight again the magazines: SEN Magazine and Autism Eye which are both very helpful to any parents or professionals involved with children/young people with SEN.
​​

Keep safe until next week.

With best wishes
 
Douglas
Douglas Silas
​P.S. Don’t forget, to ensure that you never miss one, you can get my SEN Updates personally by completing your email details above, ​or by following me on one of the social media platforms I use (i.e. Twitter/Facebook).

P.P.S. You can also share this SEN Update with others (please only do so if it may be relevant to them) by using one of the icons, usually to the right or at the bottom of this page.​​​​​​​​
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Use positive self-talk…

12/5/2021

 
​​Douglas Silas,
Specialist SEN Solicitor
​6th December 2021

Cartoon

Last week I talked about avoiding negative self-talk, but this week I want to talk about how you need to instead use positive self-talk!

You often just need to consciously verbalise in your mind what you want to happen in a positive way. You are simply replacing negative self-talk with more positive self-talk. Some people also say that it is about improving ratios and that you should have three times as many positive than negative thoughts, but I think that just having more positive and less negative thoughts is better. 

But you can’t jump straight from negative to positive thinking in one foul swoop. Long-lasting change only comes through little changes over time, not trying to do everything at once. You have to accept this and realise that you always need to do things little by little. Although you may try to be more positive than negative, you won't immediately become positive in everything that you think.

Like most things in life, it is usually a case of two steps forward and one step back - not one step forward and two steps back, otherwise you will be going the wrong way! All these small changes a bit at a time though will lead to big changes eventually, probably without you even realising. There is also a difference between our conscious mind and our unconscious mind.

Our brain is also very suggestible. If you think about it, if we fill our brain (or allow it to be filled) with negative thoughts, rather than positive thoughts, than this is the way that we will think of things. But then, if you also think about it, if we fill our brain with positive thoughts, rather than negative thoughts, that is also the way that we will then think of things.

It is therefore important to not let your mind be continually hijacked by negative thoughts, or controlled by others, such as what we read or hear everyday on news or social media. If you really believe that it’s too hard to do this, then try to lessen or stop your exposure to it. It is not as difficult as it seems to deliberately ignore news or social media - just remember, you have a choice!  

Also, remember, as I said before, a lot of the negative thoughts that we have are based on our own unconscious fears. So, being aware and having insight into yourself are also great weapons to use against negative self-talk.  However, you have to catch yourself in the moment and recognise when you are sounding negative, or being exposed to negative things. 

You can’t just force yourself to think positively by saying positive things to yourself, as they do not really mean anything sometimes. There is also a danger that you can sometimes see these things as a bit delusional or untrustworthy. In the same respect though, just as you should not tell lies or deceive others, you should also not tell lies or deceive yourself!

Sometimes, you get turned off by a positive voice in your head feeling like it is coming from a self-help book, or it sounds a bit corny, like a motivational speaker, so you mistrust it. You must therefore find something evidentially true and put a positive spin on it that you can believe. If you record it in some way, you can also look back on it later to see how positive self-talk actually works.

The brain is also, as some people say, the rebellious organ in the body, so it often does the opposite of what we want it to. We therefore usually also need to see continual evidence that positive thinking is working for us. It is a bit circular I am afraid, as only the more we do this, the more we achieve and only can we then evidence to ourselves that positive thinking works for us. 

It is also about attitude and seeing things more positively. You don’t just need to turn down the volume on your negative voice, but you also have to turn up the volume on your positive voice. However, we often have soundtracks in our minds from earlier in life and tend to hold onto negative things that people have said to us, especially when we were young and impressionable.

So, this week, try to use positive self-talk as much as possible - you will hopefully find that the more you do it, the more positive things will become for you!

In this week's SEN Update, you will find sections entitled:
​​
  • SEN NEWS
  • NEWS ONLINE
  • ​USEFUL INFORMATION
​​I know how busy everyone is, ​so feel free just to read the sections of interest,
​or read everything; the choice is always yours.

SEN News
SEN News
SEN NEWS
​I received another email this week from the SEND Division at the Department for Education (DfE), which stated:

"Dear colleagues
 
In light of the new Omicron variant, yesterday we updated the Special schools and other specialist settings: coronavirus (COVID-19) guidance. The main updates are:

Information for all education and childcare settings on new measures in response to the identification of the Omicron variant of COVID-19 in the UK
  • On Saturday 27 November, the Prime Minister announced new temporary measures following the emergence of the Omicron variant of COVID-19 in the UK.
  • The new measures will be introduced as a precaution to slow down the spread of the variant while we gather more information. We will continue to keep this under review as the situation develops.
Face coverings
  • Face coverings should be worn in communal areas in all settings by staff, visitors and pupils or students in year 7 and above, unless they are exempt.
  • Pupils or students (in year 7 or above) should continue to wear face coverings on public and dedicated school transport, unless they are exempt.

Testing
  • All educational and childcare settings should continue to encourage staff and students to test twice weekly using lateral flow device (LFD) tests.
 
Contact tracing and isolation
  • The current guidance on contact tracing and isolation remains in place. In addition to these, any suspected or confirmed close contacts of the Omicron variant will be asked to isolate for 10 days regardless of vaccination status or age. You will be contacted directly and told to isolate.

Vaccination
  • All eligible staff and students aged 12 and over are encouraged to take up the offer of the vaccine, including boosters.
  • Vaccines are our best defence against COVID-19. They help protect young people and adults, and benefit those around them. Vaccination makes people less likely to catch the virus and less likely to pass it on.
  • To book a vaccination, please visit: Book or manage a coronavirus (COVID-19) vaccination – NHS (www.nhs.uk).

Changes to the red list for international travel to England
  • Individuals arriving in England from red list countries must follow the red list rules.
  • South Africa, Botswana, Eswatini, Lesotho, Namibia and Zimbabwe moved onto the red list at 12pm Friday 26 November. Angola, Malawi, Mozambique and Zambia were added to the red list 4am Sunday 28 November.
  • Schools, out of school settings and colleges will want to consider whether to go ahead with planned international educational visits at this time, recognising the risk of disruption to education resulting from the need to isolate and test on arrival back into the UK.
 
We will keep the guidance under review as the situation develops.
 
Many thanks
 
 Special Educational Needs and Disability Division"

 News Online
NEWS ONLINE
In terms of news, here are the articles that I found of interest this week:

School Covid absence up 60% in England in two weeks
England’s nativity plays Covid guidance ‘unhelpful’, say school leaders
“Strengthening and modernising”: Ombudsman sets out proposals to strengthen public voice

​Again, aside from clicking on the relevant links for more information, I would also remind you of the very useful resources and information provided on the following websites:
 
- IPSEA
- Council for Disabled Children

- Special Needs Jungle

I would also highlight again the magazines: SEN Magazine and Autism Eye which are both very helpful to any parents or professionals involved with children/young people with SEN.
​​

Keep safe until next week.

With best wishes
 
Douglas
Douglas Silas
​P.S. Don’t forget, to ensure that you never miss one, you can get my SEN Updates personally by completing your email details above, ​or by following me on one of the social media platforms I use (i.e. Twitter/Facebook).

P.P.S. You can also share this SEN Update with others (please only do so if it may be relevant to them) by using one of the icons, usually to the right or at the bottom of this page.​​​​​​​​
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