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THE ONLY ONE THAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK IS YOU...

Douglas Silas
12th January 2026

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Today, I want to talk to you about why the only one that’s holding you back often is only you.
We spend years blaming circumstances for our stagnation, don’t we? We craft stories in our heads about why we can't move forward, believing them so completely that they often become true and are self-fulfilling prophecies. That voice in your head that says "not yet" or "maybe later" - that’s not wisdom, that’s just fear wearing a disguise.
You must recognise patterns like this. Here's what I've noticed; we're brilliant at protecting ourselves unconsciously from disappointment, by never starting anything at all. We rehearse conversations we'll never have, plan projects we never begin and dream dreams that will never become real. This is not because we lack the ability, but because, unconsciously, things always feel safer to stay where we are, than risking failure trying something new.

The gap between who you are and who you want to be isn't filled with obstacles; it’s only filled with decisions you haven't made yet.  Every day, you choose comfort over courage, but you're just voting for a life you've already got.
Here are some  examples:

• You constantly talk about leaving an unfulfilling job to retrain for something else you feel more passionate about; but you’re not quite ready for, for four years now! The courses are available, the funding is there, but you’re terrified of becoming a beginner again at something. In the meantime, time has passed you by and you could have already obtained that qualification you were after.

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• You say you can't afford to pursue another passion, but the funny thing is, you've already spent about £3,000 or so on takeaways and coffee this year, without noticing! It’s not really about the money; it’s about what you're willing to sacrifice for what.

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• You sometimes hear people say that they're too anxious to try therapy to try to resolve a problem that causes them anxiety. But this is a bit like saying you're too ill to see a doctor. The thing they're avoiding is precisely the thing that could help them. They can only help themselves first as well by admitting to themselves that they need help.

That said, there are sometimes barriers that can be quite substantial. For example, chronic illness, caring for dependents, financial difficulties, etc. These aren’t excuses; they’re realities that may genuinely constrain choices. Pretending everyone has equal capacity to do whatever they want ignores the world as it actually exists, not as we'd like it to be.
So, today, please distinguish between barriers that are real and the ones you've built up in your own mind. Ask yourself what you're protecting by staying exactly where you are. Take one small action towards that thing that you've been avoiding and remember, at the end of the day, the only one that's holding you back is you!

​​With good wishes
 
Douglas

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